Wake Me Up (Love Knows No Boundaries) Read online

  Wake me up

  By

  Michelle Horst

  Also by Michelle Horst

  VAALBARA: Visions and Shadows

  VAALBARA: The Land of Shadows

  Seven Deadly Sins II – Gluttony

  Seven Dwarf Stories – Asher

  Seven Dress Sizes – Obesity

  Acknowledgements

  It feels as if I blinked and Wake Me Up was completed. I’ve never enjoyed writing a book as much as I did this Novel. Thank you, to the stunning and sharp Tabitha Ormiston-Smith, a dream editor to have worked with. I have never in my life learned so much, as I did editing Wake Me Up with you, and I enjoyed every second of it. Patti Roberts – BLOODY HELL the cover is spectacular. I stare at it at least a few times a day. Thank you for giving me the dream cover for my dream book.

  My girls, always my girls ~ Nathi, Conny, Dana and Eva - I love you dearly.

  I thank God for my husband and son, my friends, my zoo in my very own backyard – but mostly that I’m able to live out my dream. To write every day is a blessing.

  Thank you for reading, and sharing in my story. I appreciate each and every one of you reading this book. Sunshine smiles from around the world!

  Drika, your time is precious to me. Thank you for reading every word, over and over, and for understanding what they mean to me.

  If I had wings I'd fly,

  I'd soar on high where only eagles dare

  I'd let them rip, I'd let them tear,

  until all that remained was me bare.

  Prologue

  Emma~

  “I’ll be like Mum.” I want to vomit. My grandfather was a drunk. She is a drunk. I don’t want to be a drunk.

  I want to scream this at her, but I can’t. I can only sit still. I’m drowning in the disgusting feelings suffocating the air out of my lungs, until my chest starts to ache. It hurts to listen to my mother, but I can’t bring myself to move. Fear keeps me frozen to the spot.

  “You just read those books, that’s all you do,” she goes on. “You’re throwing your life away. There’s no silver lining, no happily ever afters, no fairy tales. Life is hard, babes,” she leans over and hisses in my face. Her stinking breath wafts over me, sticking to my skin. “And without me you won’t make it. EVER.”

  She sits back and her chin wobbles. Oh no, not the tears!

  I have to hold her. It’s the only way to calm her down. I get up and move to her, my body feeling rigid, as if it’s fighting me, wanting to run the other way. I reach out to her, my arms feeling like rubber. I hug her to my chest and another wave of disgust wells up in me, threatening to squeeze the last bit of life from my body. The smell of her greasy hair makes my stomack turn. I feel the clamminess of her alcohol-drenched skin beneath my hands.

  I go numb.

  No, I’m lying. I do feel something.

  I feel sick. To. My. Stomach. Sick.

  “I’m nothing without Mum. I won’t make it without Mum. Ever. Please hold me Mum. Don’t let me go.”

  ~*~

  Chapter One

  Emma ~

  She’ll follow me no matter where I run to! It’s the first thought that crosses my mind as I place the suitcase down at the foot of the bed. I hate my parents for doing this to me, for making me run to North Carolina, the other side of the bloody world. But I’ve had enough! I have to do this for myself.

  I’ve heard stories of great men. What makes a great man? I’ve stopped asking this question, because I really don’t believe there is such a thing.

  There was a time I thought men were supposed to be protectors of women, but time has molded men into weaklings. My mother molded my father into a wimp and nothing more. My father is a wimp. WEAKLY INTERACTING MASSIVE PARTICLE or WIMP, is a hypothetical particle serving as one possible solution to the dark matter problem – the dark matter problem being my mother. This is as per the definition given by Astrophysics.

  I grew up surrounded by wealth and culture, tucked away in a small village that some would find picture perfect. Pendoylan is picture perfect by England’s standards. It’s a cozy little town, and in my own way I love that town, but I hate it as well. I love the beauty of my village, but I hate the prison cell it has become. The irony, that one can hate such beauty and wealth, and the very family you come from.

  Coming to the town of Chapel Hill, I’m hoping to avoid the mad rush that comes with the big cities. I love the tranquility of my cozy village.

  I know there is a lake here and Chapel Hill is known for its small town feel. I hope I chose right. I just want to get away from my family and experience a bit of life. I want to live my own life, if only for a few months.

  Oh gosh, my stomach turns just thinking about the wonky thing I’ve gone and done. This is much bigger than I ever could’ve imagined! I might have traveled between Africa and England, but that’s years ago. I never thought I’d have the courage to go against my mother.

  The old familiar fear bubbles up from the pit of my stomach and I have to remind myself that I’ve come to experience America, the one place that promises the freedom I’ve been craving for so long. That’s why I’ve done such a wonky-arsed thing. That’s why I’m standing in a stranger’s flat, in a strange town, hoping to experience a strange life.

  Actually, that’s not quite true. It’s mostly Chloe’s doing. If it weren’t for her constant encouragement, I wouldn’t even be here. We’ve been joined at the hip (or should I rather say phone) since we met at the nursing college my mother forced me to go to. Studying at the nursing college, was the one time I got to experience a sense of freedom. I met Chloe and by the time we finished our studies we were best friends.

  She hated that we couldn’t visit with each other afterwards. That’s when she came up with the this ‘escape the parents’ idea. She wanted me to experience life so she helped plan it all so my mother wouldn’t find out, giving her automatic guardian angel status in my life. It’s not easy going against my mother. I know when I go back there will be hell to pay, but at least this short moment of freedom will be worth it.

  I’d be lost without Chloe. She’s my complete opposite, spontaneous, flirty, but most of all, she’s brave in ways I can only dream of being. She’s already living on her own, working – experiencing life. (Yeah, completely unlike me.) I didn’t even know about international roaming for my phone. Chloe sorted that one out for me, as well.

  I wish she were here with me now. The time difference is going to make it hard for us to communicate. That reminds me, I need to let her know I’ve landed safely.

  A smile spreads across my face the second I hear her voice, “I’ve been going nutters! Did you land in one piece? Is the flat nice? What is your flatmate like? Have your parents cont-”

  “Chloe! Slow down, one at a time,” I stop her interrogation. I love her dearly, but she’s insanely protective of me, because of the problems I have at home. “I’m in one piece, but thanks to all those energy drinks you shoved into my system, I feel jittery.”

  Due to the nightmares I have I’m a bit of a restless sleeper, so I didn’t want to sleep on the plane. A lot of help they were. I fell asleep anyway, waking up to people staring at me, as if I were some mental bat.

  “Well, at least you’ll have plenty of energy to have a go at a bloke then,” she teases.

  “I said I feel jittery, not energized,” I correct her. “You’re not going to let that one go, are you?” She has made a short list of things I have to experience while here. Losing my virginity is at the top of her list. Getting sloshed is second. She figures I should do both at the same time, it might give me more guts to go through with it. (I’m still debating it.)

  “
No, never! If I had the option of losing mine with an American then I would have gone with it, instead of the nutcase I ended up with. Sunshine, you have to let your hormones sing the American Anthem. Take one for the team.”

  Chloe only refers to the bloke as a nutcase, she never goes into any detail about her first time or the bloke, and that scares me even more. What if my first time turns out to be the same?

  “You did not just say that? Honestly! Take one for the team?” I burst out laughing, desperately trying to laugh the nerves away.

  “Yeah, and I want details. You can be glad I’m not asking for photos. So, juicy details tomorrow. What’s the place like?” she asks again, reminding me of her earlier questions.

  “The flat is really nice! It’s a two bedroom. It has an open plan kitchen and small lounge. The bedroom is huge, Chloe! It has a lovely cupboard and the window looks out over a beautiful courtyard. Oh, and I have my own bathroom. It’s nothing like the room at home! It’s easily twice as big.” Excitement starts to bubble up as I glance around the room again. “Did I mention the bathroom! It has a shower,” I squeal.

  A sense of freedom washes over me as I take in all the space around me. The room is really twice as big as the one I have back home, and I don’t have to run through the house to get to the bathroom. I don’t have to face my mother. I swallow hard on the lump forming in my throat.

  “I’m so happy you like it, Sunshine.”

  “My flatmate’s not here. The lady that owns the building let me in. She’s so nice. But she was surprised to see me. We got the dates wrong. She expected me on Sunday and for some reason she got it in her mind that I was a bloke, so we had to clear that up, too. I don’t know where she got that idea from.”

  “Anyway, I’m glad you’ve settled in. After everything we had to go through to get you there,” she sighs. “We were lucky to have found you a place to stay, and for the university to take you in this late in the semester. You just have to catch up the work. You can do it. It’s only two weeks. Just get enough credit to be able to stay there.” As always, she encourages me. She’s become my pillar of strength.

  “Do you think I’m a coward for running away from home? Do you think they’ll come looking for me?”

  “No, you’re not,” she says, and I can hear the love in her voice, “and I really don’t think your mum will fly all the way to fetch you. Just don’t answer your phone. Don’t reply to her texts. Don’t let her intimidate you. She’s all mouth and no trousers.”

  I take a deeper breath after Chloe once again reassures me. I want to taste life, feel it and get enough of it before I have to go back.

  “Thank you for this chance, Chloe. Thank you for making this possible.”

  “You know I’d ride a porcupine starkers for you,” she laughs. I don’t know where she heard that, but since she did, she hasn’t stopped saying it.

  “Around the world and back,” is the best I can do in the form of telling her I love her. Growing up with Attila the Hun for a mother makes those words hard to say to another person, besides my gran.

  “Now go on! Go get sloshed and grab a dishy bloke. Tonight is the night you get yourself de-virginized!” she all but shrieks in my ear.

  “It’s going on ten p.m. this side. Can’t I do it tomorrow night?” I try to put the inevitable off for one more night.

  “No. Tonight, or you will never do it. And remember, I want details.” She tries to sound bossy, but fails with the laughter coming through in her voice.

  “I wish you were here with me. I don’t want to do this alone. I don’t know how to ask a bloke. What do I say? I can’t just walk up to one and ask him to shag me,” I say, giving voice to my fears.

  I’m so nervous I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. At the rate I’m going, I’m bound to chew straight through the flesh before the night is over.

  “That is why you need to get sloshed first. Then you find yourself a bloke, smile that stunning smile of yours and flirt a little. Sunshine, even if you have to put a bloody flag over his face and do it for the old Queen and country, just get it done,” she laughs.

  “A lot of help you are. First he has to be decent, now I have to put a flag over his face.” But it’s working. I’m smiling.

  “Do you want to practice on me? Pretend I’m a bloke,” she says.

  I stare all flustered at the phone, before bringing it back to my ear.

  “Have you gone mental? That’s even worse than trying to land some bloke!”

  My face flushes red and I’m back to rethinking the whole thing. Chloe’s my friend and I can’t even pretend. How the hell am I going to grab a real bloke?

  “Just go have fun, Sunshine, you’re too serious about the whole thing. You’re finally free. Go have some freedom.”

  “Alright. Freedom. Experiences. Got it,” I’m repeating it all like a bloody parrot, just so it will sink in. “I’ll go dazzle some unsuspecting fellow with my smile and hope it’s enough to get him to shag me.” I’m going to have to get really sloshed for that to happen.

  Nervous excitement bubbles in the region of my stomach again, making me feel even more wired. I’m going to go to a pub. I’m going to get sloshed for the first time. Reality is starting to sink in fast now. Then I see the lone suitcase still at the foot of the bed. It looks exactly like I feel – just utterly lonely.

  “Take your phone with. Ring me if you need me. Text me. I’m on standby,” she says, offering her support to me like she always does.

  “You’re the best, you know that, right?” I start to say goodbye.

  “No, you’re the best,” she laughs.

  “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

  My phone beeps just as I cut the call. One glance tells me I can’t run from the inevitable. I’ve ignored all my mother’s messages, but now she has my father texting me, as well. Chloe would kill me if she knew I was answering them, but I can’t just ignore them – they are my parents.

  Where are you? We can’t reach you. Mum is worried.

  I’ll reply to him – once only.

  I’m taking a break from it all. You deal with Mum.

  My breathing starts to speed up and I stop altogether. I start my silly habit to find some manner of calm again. I imagine an eagle taking flight, and I let all my feelings soar away with it. I let the eagle cry on my behalf, and I breathe out. “No. No more.”

  I close my eyes, pressing the phone to my forehead. How I wish I could just close off the world like I just did my father.

  ~*~

  Well, I said I’ve come here to experience life, and the first experience is to find a bloody pub and live it up so I have something to report to Chloe.

  My skinny jeans, tank top and jacket don’t exactly scream hot girl looking for a bloke to help her get rid of the old V-prob. But then, I don’t want to dress up like a skank. I still have a slither of pride, even if I’m going to try and land some fellow. Ugh, why can’t I just flick some switch and be done with it?

  Luckily, it doesn’t take me long to find a place. I only walk a few blocks from the flat when I reach the town. This is why we picked this flat; they said it was nice and close to everything. It’s a pity it’s dark out so I don’t get to see much of the town on my quest to find the pub. I’ve never set foot in one and don’t have a clue as to what to expect.

  After passing a few restaurants and shops, I spot a couple of skankily dressed girls disappear into a dodgy-looking place. Strikers Bar and Grill, maybe I’ll strike it lucky in there. There should be booze, and where there are girls dressed like that, chaps are likely to follow. Like Chloe said, I only need one half-decent-looking bloke.

  I stop in the entrance first, taking in the people and surroundings. I want to make a quick getaway if the place is too dodgy. The music is beating loudly, and it looks just like any old pub I’ve seen in the movies. Weathered, overused dance floor to my right, and a really overused bar counter to my left. The lighting is dim, and even darker in the corners. People are sc
attered everywhere, some are dancing while others seem to be already well into the swing of things.

  It looks decent enough so I make a mad dash for the bar with the goal of getting rat-arsed first. I find a seat in the far corner, reckoning the darkness could work well to my advantage. It gives me a good view of the rest of the pub, while I can hide and drown my inhibitions.

  My stomach does that nervous twist again as I look over all the people. There are so many blokes I can’t even focus on one. A couple of them look my way and my mouth dries right up. I feel my cheeks flush, and the nervous twist turns into a full-blown war, tearing every last one of my nerves to shreds.

  “It’s like killing two birds with one stone – two massive birds. Like prehistoric size birds. Alright, enough about the birds. Search and destroy all inhibitions by getting thoroughly sloshed,” I mumble, only making the nervous feelings worse. I start chewing on the inside of my cheek to keep myself from talking out loud. The last thing I need is for these people to think I’m mental.

  There’s a happy student thrill in the air. If you’re looking for a place to get lost, this might just be it. I watch the bartender help some patrons, his hands working fast to get the glasses filled.

  I jump when a door behind the counter opens. I watch another bartender place some clean glasses behind the counter before he looks up. He smiles at me and I have to admit, he’s not too bad looking – that’s if I’m into the kind that has more piercings than I do.

  “What can I get y’all?” he asks, sending my stomach off on a mad dash around the pub.

  I’m a sucker for American accents and oh my, as long as he keeps talking I won’t need a flag. Forget about Queen and Country, I might just be able to do this thing.

  “Uhm…” Hell, I don’t know. I give him an awkward smile. “Anything you can suggest?”

  “Start her off on tequila.” Some smart-arse goes off next to me.

  I scowl up at fellow next to me and then wish I hadn’t even given him the time of day. Yu-uck, not even for Queen or country. I keep my hands on my lap, making sure I don’t touch the bloke by accident.